Dear Dr Cocky

 I have been seeing my fiance for over 3 years now. I love him with all my heart and I am willing to do anything for the prosperity of our relationship. A few months back I noticed a lot of suspicious behaviour on his part. He locks his phone, keeps it on silent when I am around, turns his phone off sometimes making it impossible to contact him. I eventually found out that he was cheating on me and I did what I had to do and left him. Our separation only lasted about 2 months because he started  persuing me as if I was someone he was courting, sending me flowers, complimenting me. It was amazing it was like we had new love again so I eventually gave in and took him back. The good treatment only lasted about 2 weeks after we got back together it seems like it was business as usual. He started doing the same things that made me suspicious of him before. I think he may even be cheating on me again. If I catch him this time I am done for good. Why is it that guys dont know how treat us when they have us but act like they “love” us so much when the lost us ?

ANSWER FROM DR COCKY

     Women all over the world can tell this exact same story my dear almost verbatim. I think its a classic case of what a lot of us go thru “We dont know are appreciate what we have until we lose it!!!”
The fact I can say women all over the world can say the same thing indicates that its happening alot. So my question to you is what can you put up with? And would you prefer to put up with it with your fiance or with some other man?
You see the grass is not always greener on the other side but in some instances it is (lets keep it real) I’ve heard women say and I quote “I can do bad by my damn self”

I am not going to tell you to leave and I’m not going to tell you to stay because honestly only you can make that decision, only you know what is in your heart and what you believe.

R kelly said it best in his song ‘When a Woman’s fed up” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRRS6Ipdl5Q and if you are at that point, your decision isn’t difficult but if you are not well you probably need alot of soul searching as well as conversations with your significant other.

I’mma keep it real with you.

                                                                               Every Man Cheats!!!!!!
Yeah I said it!!! As I have said it many times in the past. It is my opinion if you don’t like it you shouldn’t have asked me.

I do however think discretion is very important. I don’t think a man should openly disrespect his woman. I also think that a lot of women should lose the “SHERLOCK HOLMES MENTALITY”  close the flipping investigation. Cause if you search hard enough for something you probably gonna find it so why search for something that will hurt and confuse you. And if you find something undesirable what are you gonna do ?
In this situation you are asking someone else (ME) what to do.

My advice to you is respect your fiance’s privacy as I’m sure you appreciate it when he respects yours, communicate with him what you expect from this relationship, what you will put up with and what you will not put up with (and stick to what you say don’t be the girl who cried wolf), counseling is always an option but me personally and most caribbean men aren’t advocates of this, and if it gets to a point where you cannot handle it and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel DON’T BE AFRAID TO WALK AWAY!!

DEAR DR COCKY

     Mi have a lil issue with my girl and I wanted your opinion on how to move forward. I’ve been seeing my girl for a lil under  year and everything is great but our sex life has become somewhat redundant. Mi no wah say boring. Me wah fi spice it up, I want a threesome. Mi kinda hint at it a few times but mi no quite sure how she would react if I came out directly and asked because she is generally very jealous when it comes to my interactions with other women. I have another girl who willing to be the “3rd party” so now all I need to do is convince my girl. What do I do?????
Tony M.

I find this very interesting that you think a threesome would resurrect your “dead” sex life. The information you provided is kinda limited. Does your girl share your opinion about your sex life? and if not is she aware of your opinion?

WHATS WRONG WITH ORAL SEX?

I am a woman who resides in western jamaica. I have been going out with my boyfriend now for about 5 years. Before him I would never think about oral sex in no way shape or form but I am in love with him even at this stage of our relationship so I recently started doing the deed.I please him because I love him and I don’t really care what anyone thinks about this. I find it unfair though because my boo is unwilling to return the favor. He makes up various excuses and at times act like dancehall music is law in our household, the latest excuse he gave me is that he will only do it after he is married. I am getting frustrated because we love each other and I think we should be able to express ourselves freely. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ORAL SEX????

What’s wrong with oral sex? (DR COCKY’S ANSWER)

Nothing if you are my girl lol (just playing) Let me firstly say Thank You on behalf of your boy friend Everybody knows that I am a big advocate of women pleasing us in all ways. If you don’t you probably don’t listen to my music and or read my blogs. On the flip side men eating pussy (especially in Jamaica) has been one of the biggest Taboos from as long as I can remember. To answer your question there is nothing “wrong” with oral sex but being a young man growing up in Jamaica you are taught by your parents, by society, by your peers that “Man no eat pussy!!” If you were in Dominica eg. you probably wouldn’t have written this letter (please don’t send a follow up email asking “What’s wrong with Jamaica” lol)
The following is an over used cliche but in this situation I think it is perfect.
“IF YOU DONT STAND FOR SOMETHING YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING”

Let me share an interesting stat with you. %50 of men in Jamaica perform oral sex and from that %50 maybe half of them would admit to doing it. You actually have one a di “real” bredda dem. He was taught that this is wrong and he stayed true to his lessons. I think you should respect that and appreciate that you are dealing with a strong person.

My advice to you my dear is value your relationship, it’s length and the fact that you are still ‘in love” indicates that there are many positives. Don’t create an issue based on something that ,if you really think about it, is insignificant. Talk to 2 or 3 of your female friends and I guarantee that you’ll find that your “issue” compared to most relationships would not even be considered an “issue” . So keep doing what you doing to spice up the relationship and hey maybe when you tie the knot you’ll have something to smile about.

Before putting this on paper I didn’t several little surveys on networking sites such as twitter and facebook seeking peoples opinions on promiscuous women. Men were pretty consistent saying women should not sleep around but the answers I secured from women varied from one extreme to the other.

This brought me to the conclusion that:

 a) Most men do not approve of women being promiscuous, when settling down a man wants to know that the girl he is courting is “wife” material. It may be possible for a promiscuous woman to settle down (in my opinion) but it can be something that presents a major problem when a woman comes to this point. Think about it a formerly promiscuous woman when asked how many sex partners she has had by her prospective “soul mate” always blatantly lies because she knows men place great value on a woman’s sexual restraint
b) women would all be promiscuous is it were not for three things “pregnancies” “diseases” “reputation” . If none of these were and issue what would stop every woman from sleeping with every and any person they wanted to ?

I have to admit researching this topic has brought to light the similarities between men and women sexually

WE ALL LOVE TO F*$K IT SEEMS   (read my previous blog “I wanna f*$k every girl in the world http://fudgiespringer.blogspot.com/2009/07/mi-wah-fuck-every-girl-in-world.html)

 Women may even enjoy sex more than us men surveys show that by age 21 the average woman has slept with 9 different partners while for the average man its only 7 at that age.To further strengthen the point let me explain why over all these years we were under the misconception that men enjoy sex more than women. Women get offered sex on 99% of the encounters they have with males. The world to women is like a buffet of dick, they can pick choose and refuse. So them seemingly not stressing or chasing sex would make it seem as if they don’t want it as much as us men. But look at our situation we rarely get offers, and we have to work to get ours so to speak. And even after we put in the blood, sweat and tears, its still really the woman who decides when she ready to f*#k you.
PUSSY POWER!!!!

Let’s revisit the topic at hand. Why do women sleep around???

1. Competition – some women believe that when dating a “good” man other girls are after him so they have to put it on him to keep him interested
2. No time for a relationship – Lets keep it real, relationships ain’t always heaven on earth keep it real more times than not relationships are the opposite. Relationships require a lot of time dedication and sacrifice, for some women its more desirable to keep things casual than to have the “inconvenience” of a boyfriend. Dating, sleeping with who they want and not worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings
3. Hurt in the past – Some women are genuinely afraid of commitment usually because of past relationships, and are unwilling to put themsleves in a position where they can get hurt again
4. Revenge – I’m not a big advocate of getting even with your pussy but it happens alot, Bun fi Bun as we used to call it in Jamaica
5. Getting over their EX – some women use casual sex to get over their exes, they sleep with multiple men to help them “move on”
6. Cant say No – I have met women like this (I love y’all) They just can’t say “NO” when put in a sexual situation (GOD BLESS YOU lol)
7. Fuck and collect – call it gold digging, call it smart, call it stupid but some woman will fuck multiple men for their possessions and for what they can do for a woman financially
8. SEX IS FUN – This I think is one of the main reasons, Women like to fuck bottom line!!!

Well this might be wishful thinking on my part but I have been active in this debate with my female friends and my gyallection for a while now. From what I get from that the majority (if not all) are bi to some degree. In other words they get sexually aroused by both men and women.

This obviously, we are dealing with “the hypocrites” that follow dancehall music (no offense), will be rejected as many women who read this if they were forced to comment would say:
“Not me, thats nasty” , “women do nothing for me, I’m not curious.” , “fiyah bun lesbian and fiyah bun you Springer for writing this!!”
PLEASE SAVE THE BULLSHIT OK!!!!!!
I’m a real person, not an actor and mi know wah gwaan inna di world (even jamaica) and I’m smart enough to know that the some of the “taboos” in reggae culture is not the reality, even in the land of reggae.

Let me paraphrase popular stand up comedian Chris Rock, “YEAH I SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ok lets break down a few reasons why a woman may fantasize about another woman:

i) WOMAN LOOK BETTER THAN MAN

Only a Fish will disagree wid this statement. It is extremely easy to be attracted to a woman. Believe mi no man. Compared to a raas man, women are Godesses (y’all know I love you right) Its easy for a woman to appreciate the curves,softness and beauty of another woman. If we were cars a man would be like a Jeep or a Hummer and a woman would be like a sexy lil convertible sports car. We are rugged and can get the job done but women are sexy,beautiful, fuckable (is that a word? it should be lol)

ii) FANTASIES DOESN’T NECESSARILY EQUATE TO REALITY

A woman may wonder what it would be like to have an “experience” with a another woman. Your girl might wanna fuck Tami Chin, but dat no mean she going to act on it, not all fantasies come true some are just that “FANTASIES”.

iii) THREESOMES ARE SEXY

I’m fortunate enough to say that I have experienced Ménage à Trois. Hey don’t hate the player, hate the game…..

Ladies ask a man about fantasies and chances are you aggo hear bout threesome. It can be dude just take turns fucking both women but trust me when the girls get it going with each other dat tek di ting to a next level (in my educated opinion of course)
So a woman who fantasizes about being with a woman can find common ground with her significant other. Ladies just kick off the conversation, fellows you can thank di Gyalsta aka Gyal dem whore later.
Again dealing with the “hypocrites of dancehall” yu aggo have some man dat oppose wah mi a say. Just like di dudes that were upset because I said all women do and should suck dick, and to you I say again..
PLEASE SAVE THE BULLSHIT OK!!!!!!!!!!
Lets talk about lesbians for a little bit. Now when I say lesbian I am referring to a woman who is “strictly pussy” some women say “strictly dickly” well a lesbian says “strictly pussy”. I may be wrong but I am a very confident fellow and I love lesbians, my reasoning kinda goes with the fact that I honestly think I can introduce cocky to all a di lesbian them in the world if I tried to. If you a lesbian and yu disagree with me… hey lets get together and see what happens.
WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SHARE WITH YOU I SHARE WITH THE PATRONS AT MY EVENTS ALL THE TIME AND ITS MY TOP 3 REASON’S WHY I FUDGIE SPRINGER , DI GYAL DEM WHORE, DI GYALSTA with di GYALLECTION who’s always WHORING AND TOURING loves lesbians.
(lol that was a commercial break)
1) LESBIANS PUSSY GOOD!!!!!!
it kinda tricky cause if I fuck a lesbian she would probably be considered bi-sexual but anyways a lesbian nah get fuck by no man or at least not by no bagga man, so based pon dat mi aggo go out pon a limb and say her pussy tight. and that I definately do like.
2) LESBIANS KNOW HOW TO USE THEIR TONGUES
Do I need to elaborate on this one? I wont
3) LESBIANS TRAVEL IN PAIRS
Ménage à Trois. Nuff Said.