Why can’t he love me or leave me alone?
Dear Dr Cocky
I have been seeing my fiance for over 3 years now. I love him with all my heart and I am willing to do anything for the prosperity of our relationship. A few months back I noticed a lot of suspicious behaviour on his part. He locks his phone, keeps it on silent when I am around, turns his phone off sometimes making it impossible to contact him. I eventually found out that he was cheating on me and I did what I had to do and left him. Our separation only lasted about 2 months because he started persuing me as if I was someone he was courting, sending me flowers, complimenting me. It was amazing it was like we had new love again so I eventually gave in and took him back. The good treatment only lasted about 2 weeks after we got back together it seems like it was business as usual. He started doing the same things that made me suspicious of him before. I think he may even be cheating on me again. If I catch him this time I am done for good. Why is it that guys dont know how treat us when they have us but act like they “love” us so much when the lost us ?
ANSWER FROM DR COCKY
Women all over the world can tell this exact same story my dear almost verbatim. I think its a classic case of what a lot of us go thru “We dont know are appreciate what we have until we lose it!!!”
The fact I can say women all over the world can say the same thing indicates that its happening alot. So my question to you is what can you put up with? And would you prefer to put up with it with your fiance or with some other man?
You see the grass is not always greener on the other side but in some instances it is (lets keep it real) I’ve heard women say and I quote “I can do bad by my damn self”
I am not going to tell you to leave and I’m not going to tell you to stay because honestly only you can make that decision, only you know what is in your heart and what you believe.
R kelly said it best in his song ‘When a Woman’s fed up” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRRS6Ipdl5Q and if you are at that point, your decision isn’t difficult but if you are not well you probably need alot of soul searching as well as conversations with your significant other.
I’mma keep it real with you.
Every Man Cheats!!!!!!
Yeah I said it!!! As I have said it many times in the past. It is my opinion if you don’t like it you shouldn’t have asked me.
I do however think discretion is very important. I don’t think a man should openly disrespect his woman. I also think that a lot of women should lose the “SHERLOCK HOLMES MENTALITY” close the flipping investigation. Cause if you search hard enough for something you probably gonna find it so why search for something that will hurt and confuse you. And if you find something undesirable what are you gonna do ?
In this situation you are asking someone else (ME) what to do.
My advice to you is respect your fiance’s privacy as I’m sure you appreciate it when he respects yours, communicate with him what you expect from this relationship, what you will put up with and what you will not put up with (and stick to what you say don’t be the girl who cried wolf), counseling is always an option but me personally and most caribbean men aren’t advocates of this, and if it gets to a point where you cannot handle it and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel DON’T BE AFRAID TO WALK AWAY!!
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